Yesterday I published a recording on being disappointed with someone for what they say or do in a moment and how that can affect your further relationship with them. If you haven’t yet – you can listen to it here.
In such moments, what in essence happens, is that you’re ‘giving up’ on someone for something they’re going through or something that is revealed of them. I talked about how we’re actually defining all of who a person is based on one singular point and now apparently, there’s nothing left to do but to give up.
There may be many moments in your own process where you feel like giving up on something or someone, or even yourself. Whether you’re in a process of creating change with another in a relationship or creating change in your community or creating change within yourself – if you suddenly, or even continuously, get the feedback that ‘the change is not happening and it's not going to happen’ – it’s so easy to give up and say ‘it’s too hard', 'I didn’t expect it would be this hard’ – and your perception might shift from the opportunity for change that you originally saw, to only the doom and gloom that is in front of you right now.
What I realized for myself in those situations is that: no matter how ‘hopeless’ something seems in a moment, I remind myself of why I set out on this particular process of change in the first place – where, I saw there was a potential for change – a potential for something new to step forth and be created. And yes, sometimes it may seem that all hope is lost and it’s never going to happen – but one thing is for certain: if I give up, then it’s definitely not going to happen. And so – in such moments – what is very supportive: is to hold that potential within you: the potential you see in another person, the potential you see in a community, the potential you see in yourself – whatever the context: to hold that point within you and stand as it.
Holding the potential within you assists with remaining grounded and not ‘getting lost’ within the havoc of the moment, allows you to keep your vision, your perspective and rather assess: what needs to happen next in this particular process of creation? Should I change my approach? Are there points I haven’t yet considered? What am I missing?
Now, you’re able to respond to the situation with clarity, or take action to get more clarity – rather than throwing up your hands and ‘giving up’ – because one thing is for sure: change is almost always met with resistance. And in a way, you knew that when you set out on the particular process you’re on.
So – if you find yourself in such moments of just wanting to give up and stop pushing/stop standing: remind yourself of why you started that process in the first place: the potential you saw then, is it still here? If so – then hold it within you – stand – and allow yourself to find out what the next step is.